Monday, January 5, 2015

Innocence Lost...Nevermind, False Alarm

Over Christmas break, on a chilly drizzly Savannah evening, we drove across the Talmadge Bridge to the Westin for their amazing gingerbread house display.  SIP chattered from the back seat, mostly about Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, as we had watched it every day since school let out.  When the conversation turned from ill-mannered children getting what they deserved in the creative forms of candy abuse, to...bad language, the protective glaze of maternal indifference left my eyes and I sat straight up on alert.

"And Mom," SIP said, "you know that 'stupid' is a bad word, right?"  "Yes, it is a bad word," I concurred.  "But," he continued, "did you know there is an even worse word than that?" 

My back stiffened and I looked over at Cale in the driver's seat.  "There is?"  I played dumb and pretended not to be very interested.  "Yup," said SIP confidently, "it starts with S-H-  Sebastian says it at school."

My heart sank as I realized the reign of innocence had ended.    We made it six and a half years without hearing one truly foul word come from SIP's mouth, and it was all going to end amidst holiday lights and Christmas music with Delilah on "The River."  "I'm not going to say it," he went on, "I'll just spell it for you..."

"No!" Cale and I both yelled in unison, not wanting to hear even the letters that made up the "sh" word.  But it was too late.  SIP was on a roll and feeling strong, "S-H-U...

Wait a minute, "S-H-U?"  Not only has SIP learned a bad word, but now I have to be concerned that he can't even spell it properly!

He continued slowly, working it out in his mind, "T." I cringed at the imbecilic horror.  But, he wasn't finished.

"U-P." 

The windshield fogged over from the gigantic sighs of relief Cale and I emitted.  "Yes, that is a very, very bad word."  I said sternly hoping he couldn't hear the smile in my voice in the glowing night, "so bad I don't want you even to spell it." 

 
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